Help, I’m Broken

Choices

Some years ago, I walked into a department store looking for that fountain of youth that would help to solve all of my beauty needs. My baby was only a few months old and the oldest was almost 3. You can imagine how the long nights and early days left me feeling sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted. After my second child, physical challenges almost overwhelmed me. My hopes were to recapture the beauty of my younger days and gain the strength I needed to fight.

When I found that throughout the entire store, there was not one concealer that matched my sensitive skin, I broke down in tears. I felt that I lost something important and the raccoon eyes I now sported was a badge of my new reality.  This “Gone With The Wind” moment may have startled the lady helping me. After that, I think she hid every time she saw me coming.

On that day, when no answers were found for a personal need, a shift did take place.  It was my wake up moment and I was  learning an important lesson about myself.  The cliches and slogans only gave me false hopes.  I honestly thought that if I changed my outlook and my outcomes, then a prosperity shift would take place in my life. I really thought you could fake it until you make it, but I now realize that faking confidence is a loosing battle. In the face of fear, you can choose to be courageous but you can not fake confidence and win.

That bokeneness did something for me. It actually gave me freedom to look inside to see the real me.  I received freedom from believing all of those erroneous thoughts and I began a journey of self acceptance.  My eyes were opened to how unhappy I was with myself and the small amount of grace that I gave myself in tough situations. My confidence didn’t just begin to waiver with the new baby, but I struggled with low self esteem before the challenges arose. I didn’t see it because I covered it up with foundation and mascara. Some people cover it with drugs, alcohol or pornography. Either way, the pain I experienced on that day helped me to realize just how broken I was.

It is amazing how God can use ugly situations to bring such freedom. Before I could begin experiencing healing, I had to first recognize I had a problem. My relationships now experience the benefits from the pain felt on that day.  I hope you got some insight on why I say, “embrace the challenge.”

Have you ever experienced a painful situation? Please feel free to share how a painful situation opened your eyes and started you on the road to really living in freedom.

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