40 Day Finale Living in Dignity and Grace

The 40 Days to Positive Posture was full of hard work. I challenged myself for weeks to walk greater distances. I was determined to smile more and chose to rejoice even in difficult circumstances. My view on life was being transformed. When I welcomed challenges, I realized they were doorways to opportunities. A variety of opportunities but the best was choosing to grow into a better person.

I concluded this personal posture challenge with an “all out” two-part finale. I participated in the 2017 Mrs. Maryland America Pageant on a Saturday. It was not going to cost me anything but efforts in working on my posture. The next day, to add to the fireworks, my family ran in our first 5k. A dream of mine is to participate in Marathons. I ran in high school and college but did not want that to be it for something I enjoyed so much. Since college, life became complicated. My legs gave out and walking became difficult. Last year at this time I was exercising under strict supervision. So this 40 day challenge was my way to share a recovery journey with you.

This challenge encouraged me to reflect on my attitude when facing physical challenges. I conquered some of the tough things with grace when I was determined to do so with positive posture. The way I carried myself garnered positive responses from others versus the times I didn’t care. When I walked in Positive Posture, I actually grew in an understanding of my own personal worth. I did not win the state title, but I was more honored to walk away with the title of Mrs. Bethesda America 2017. I was a winner whether they crowned me or not.

The 5k was its own challenge, and my 5 year old felt it the most out of all of us. This was her first full year of doing various runs, so a run of this distance was definitely a stretch for her. Although I had the experience decades ago, it felt like it was my first race as well. Early in the race, I saw a girl in a wheelchair being pushed by her sister. It was the most beautiful thing and I could not hold back the tears. Living with a disability will carry its own challenges, but it isn’t a limit on how much of life we are able to experience. We can choose to conquer challenges with grace when we choose positive posture.

Positive Posture is a choice. It is more than just physical stature. It is a way of thinking. It affects our personal abilities to overcome challenges and it affects how others see us. It is the decision to finish gracefully.

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Honesty

Day 29
Honesty

How many people truly share the truth on how they are doing when asked, how are you? I am NOT saying that is a time to vent. I am saying that is the time to connect. Since most people don’t expect lengthy responses, there is no pressure to make it long. So we are faced with the question, how do you honestly share without overdoing it? Well first, you need time to daily reflect on how you are doing and what you are doing. You may have started a new hobby, but apprehension about your skills may stop you from sharing this exciting new interest. It is not so much about the details of roller coaster emotions but our personal response is what really makes the difference. For example, when how you are doing, you may respond hopeful with a brief description.”Hopeful. I’m learning to play a guitar.” Wouldn’t that act as a great icebreaker? Humor works great, but never at the expense of honesty. If you are grieving or suffering, you may respond with just prayerful. “Prayerful.” In this this case, explanation is only given when asked, but honesty is our intention.
Let’s brainstorm on honest responses for different scenarios.
For days you are in physical pain
For days we are feeling persecuted
For days we have disappointment

You maybe asking, what does this have to do with Positive Posture. Well, honesty is the key that can unlock the doors to miracles. As a person that’s recovering from hurts, hang ups and habits, I realize the first step in healing is acknowledging that I have a problem. This level of honesty with myself first, empowers me to go to God and ask for help. It frees me to share both trials and triumphs with those who walk beside me in the fight. Honesty will strengthen self esteem in how it builds confidence in myself to make good choices. Confidence is the most beautiful thing about an attractive personality.

Day 27
Had such an amazing stretching session with my husband. 45 minutes and I’m feeling so relaxed. Stretching helps with posture. Positive posture is almost impossible with tight chest muscles. It took months in physical therapy before I saw improvements in my posture a year ago. That was the best I ever felt concerning posture. I definitely want to include stretching into my daily routine.

Day 20
Took the walking from my home to the streets. I had a Dr. appointment that was a little over a mile away. We have a trail within our community that makes walking to places nearby a sheer joy. I worked up a sweat but nothing too embarrassing. So glad I took the challenge.

Day 14
I have included walking to my posture routine. I click on YouTube and allow Leslie Sampson to lead me in walking a mile. It is always difficult to start something new. In fact, starting is the HARDEST part. I’m glad to come across this video because she has made walking a mile so much easier. 15 minutes and I’m done!

Being Our Best Moves Us Forward

Day 8
Being Our Very Best Moves Us Forward

A four year old boy raced to write his name, he yells at another little fellow, “I won because I beat you.” I gently responded, “we are not competing against one another. What is important is that YOU do the very best that you possibly can.” Years have passed by and that child may have graduated from high school by now, but that lesson is still true. It is not about beating someone else to the finish.

If we compete, it is to be against ourselves. We are to strive to be and do better than we did the last time we met a challenge. It is important to do our very best not to win but because it is right. Although I taught this to little ones years ago, today it felt good when someone reminded me. My choices are not results of aimless goals but decisions I made to help achieve personal and family goals. Decisions and choices that help me to move forward and that will help build integrity and fortitude in the lives of my children.
Day 7: I Can Do All Things

After running one mile earlier that day, the coach calls me in to run a 4 by 4 relay race.  For months I practiced running distance, but he was desperate and was hoping for a miracle. We all were. The race started and we did our best to gain a big enough lead to buffer my inexperience, but it was not enough. We finished last. Although this was a high school track meet, the hard memory of poor performance still follows me. I always welcome a challenge, but I do so with hopes of winning. At times, I have started out without the promise of a win and I kept the faith knowing that my success is defined by me and not the world. If I finish with integrity and grace, then I have won. If my works failed but I have learned how to love and serve others in a more powerful way, then I have won.

Although this is a great way of facing challenges, there are still so many things yet to learn. I am left to wait patiently when there are no quick answers. My strength at times wanes and often I’m left with a whole lot of desire and very little energy. What do you do when all your strength is gone?  You keep on believing.  A few days ago, I met a friend at the Rayburn Building to attend a panel in Washington, D.C. My friend is a young woman who has a curvature of the spine and one shortened leg that twists. She hides her handicap by wearing beautiful long dresses and skirts as she gracefully tackle everyday challenges. A few years ago, my strength was so low that I stopped business activity and focused my energies on my husband and kids. This friend has a husband and a child, but yet never stops. She is very successful, so I had to ask her how does she do it. She told me, “I am always in pain, but The Lord is my help. Whenever I’m weak, He makes me strong. He gives me the strength.” I was speechless. In fact, I’m still thinking about it now. So, it is true…there is no such thing as the impossible with God. During these 40 days of Positive Posture, even during the hard days, it is necessary to work through it.

What do you do when all your strength is gone?
Day 6: Time To Celebrate

Life can be full of unexpected twists and turns. Each and everyday we dare ourselves to step into new adventures. What I appreciate about maturity is that we accept the outcome.  I count it a victory to live to fight another day. Do you rejoice when you meet a challenge?  Challenges bring lessons of faith, love and life and with each trial, we are faced with making a choice. We can choose to believe or we can choose to cower away out of fear.  I want to believe that I will choose each time to believe…I have that kind of spirit. In the end, I’m only stronger.

Do you believe?

Handling Difficult Days: Day 4

Another motivation for taking this challenge is my children. I am taking this journey because I want to be a strong example for my children. They deserve the best that I can give. I can tell them to have a better attitude or I can SHOW them the best attitude.

The same thing that may motivate us, could also be the thing that can stand as a challenge in accomplishing the goal. The daily family responsibilities can be demanding and as a result we let go of our personal goals to balance the table. Balance is important, so I had to look at our family schedule to honestly plan for a solid time to work on this personal development. What I found is that I did not lack the time, I lacked the discipline. I wanted it to be easy and if it wasn’t easy, then something had to give.

We shouldn’t easily dismiss our goals because we need to care for ourselves the way we care for those we love. We allow ourselves to disappear in the shadows, but our pains and stresses continue to scream for a solution. We can not afford to ignore personal needs, self care and self love. You are worth the investment.

Have you ever dropped personal goals to balance life? Let us know.

40 Days to Positive Posture

This morning I read a quote by an unknown author on Instagram, “Don’t quit, if you are tired just take a nap”. I know that it was only 10:15 a.m. but I had a pretty bumpy night. I went to bed around 2 a.m. and a few hours after that my youngest got up twice to lay down between hubby and me. Although I took her back to bed, she returned and that second time I was too tired to get back up again. With their school schedule, sleeping in is not an option. Around 7:30 a.m., I woke up and put on a happy face (no one wants to wake up to a grouch), and said “good morning”. It was time to put on my Mommy hat as I swept through the house, cutting on lights and making sure everyone was up and out of bed. I was able to push forward without showing fatigue. As soon as they left, I tried to start the day but could feel the bed calling me for thirty more minutes.

Sleep is important to living a healthy and disciplined lifestyle. In the world we live in today, everyone is looking for a way to gain an edge. They think they need more time, so they burn the midnight oil trying to gain the edge. That’s ironic because going to bed before 12 a.m. and getting 8 hours of sleep actually helps your body and mind to function at its best. I know, by doing the opposite, I was creating an environment that I feared the most. In my opinion, sleep deprivation results in an unproductive and irritable edgy person. Some of you may agree with me but some of you are saying “not me”. For real…look up edge and what did you find? Yes, it can mean a favorable margin, but it also means the border of something. Many of us push ourselves to the line, not thinking that it will have a negative impact on the bottom line.

For the next 40 days, I will be taking a journey to positive posture. My late night last night opened my eyes to one area to concentrate on, sleep and rest. It has its place on this journey, but so does exercise and family.

Proper posture has not been the norm amongst us young people. We have heard of having a strong core, but we don’t always stop to think of what that could mean. I am taking this journey, because I believe in giving myself a second chance. Sometimes we look at ourselves and our lives and feel, this is just me. We work on our career goals of making more money. We work on relationship goals and learn to make time for people that are important in our lives. Sadly, we even get lost in our titles and use it to define our lives. We are created for more than that. God has a purpose for our lives, but most importantly, He loves us and created us to have fellowship with Him. I did not know what that meant for a long time. I was doing good things, but I measured my success by those good things. In the midst of accomplishing all of those good things, I woke up. I had taken the first step of understanding that Jesus died for my sins. I had taken the next step, and pushed past my fears of the Holy Spirit. It was the final step of loving someone sacrificially that opened my eyes to my fragile humanity. That was the first time that I realized, I can’t do this alone.

Question time: What does having a strong core mean to you? What does sleep have to do with having a strong core?

The Love Story

First, Hollywood has painted an unrealistic picture of romance. Sometimes life can get messy and no one tells us how to clean it up. That is not romantic to me.

In college, I honestly believed that focusing on my relationship with God would be the thing that would draw my husband to me. God was and still is my very law of attraction. I believe that as I draw nearer to Christ, then everything right would draw near to me. My family laughed and laughed saying, “what would he do? Knock on the door and say the Lord sent me.” And that’s just what happened.

During my junior year, I started reading Ruth in the Holy Bible. My study of it was very casual but interesting. Every time I opened it up, the same guy would knock on my door. This young man and I had been acquaintances but this peculiar incident only confirmed that God had sent my Mr. Right. Don’t get me wrong, this was an extremely handsome young man. He must have found me irresistible because he kept coming around. It was not Hollywood…but what would you call it? I had never heard of an incident like this. The young man and I remained friends for years; in fact, our first kiss was five years later after he met my entire family for the first time.

Have you ever experienced an incident where being focused on priorities resulted in even more blessings later on? Let us know by sharing in the comment section.

Focus

Life can be full of “TO DOs” or “I don’t feel like it”. Isn’t it wonderful that feelings do not get to vote? We may never feel it is the right time, but we learn to make time for the things that are important.

Focus requires strength. It is having wisdom to say “no” to ideas and things that will pull us away from our goals. For example, my big goal of cleaning the house was broken up into small goals. The kitchen was the first small goal and when I was tempted to put away all the clothes on the sofa, I would tell myself “that is later after this goal.”

With focus came consistency. When I was scattered all over the place, I constantly had inconsistent results because of my inconsistent actions. Don’t get me wrong, life happens and I choose to put some things aside. I will never put things before people. When I was applying to grad school, my mother in law wanted a home cooked meal with family and friends for her birthday. I was studying for the GRE and working on Essays, but took time to make her feel special.

By building my focus muscle, I learned how to be consistent (even when everything around me was falling apart). I had to choose in advance that my mood would not determine my consistency. I have to constantly reevaluate things and remind myself of priorities and choose to place energy there.

How do you build your FOCUS muscle?